I was kind of shocked, because this came after one year and a half in which he gave me many assurances of his care for me, even after we had some fights. If he loves you let him denounce his priesthood and marry you. These are the men of God who are spoiling the good name of the Church. It really helps to talk with women who are in similar situations. This is what I meant when I referred earlier to the fact that the woman may never “get over it” after she has loved a priest and if that is the case, that suffering must assimilate into her life. I like to fool myself that if priests could marry, he would marry me. I feel like I'm dying on the inside. I am also a Catholic and I realised that I am making a big mistake and sinning against God and the church. X said, “Don’t blame the Church. He was from a large Catholic family and it would have killed his mother and father for anything to come between him and his vocation.A couple of years into this, he was mercifully transferred to study in Italy. It was a blessing to happen upon this site.Of course I was searching for relief from the pain.Hugh thank's for the courage to write your story mary. Because right now, I am in a state of blissful happines, when I drift off all the time during my day, thinking of his lips on mine and how we just kept smiling the whole time through, grinning like two idiots. He was a priest. Love. There was one more situation again that I can't describe and I got caught by my to be ex husband. All said and done the most important thing is what we desire in any relationship,in this case LOVE which is to be given and received,determines our joy.Help one another to grow in holiness. All we ever do is hang out at my house. His answer was always “we are friends and everything is fine”, but never faced my, it really hurt me because we promise be honest to each other happen what ever happen. We got too close... Day before we left we met at the beach, how romantic..kids playing in the sand and we talking in angry ocean with the view of the Church behind us. It is hard for me to admit that I am in a similar situation. i'm i the only 1 who is in love with my priest and no one knows but me, its been 5 years and i am starting to make myself ill with the guilt, he doesnt know and i could never tell him i feel like i need to tell someone its eating away at me, i am so close to him as hes helped me a lot but i no he would never think of me in that way. I have decided to move on. I do not expect him to leave his priesthood for me or fall madly in love with me. Later, she’ll come to understand why the priest reacted in such a terrible way, but the sting of the cold and superior attitude of the priest who is crushing her like a flower with his foot into the ground, is horrible and surreal. St. Joseph did a great job, seriously...Due to that I didn't want to bear this cross alone and me being someone honest, I have been transparent and confronted him with it to hear phrases on the phone like "since when can loving someone be a cross? And then there was his family to consider. And a vow to our Lord God to keep yourself pure and resist the desires of the flesh should be taken seriously by them because it is the exact same as a marriage vow. If he is serious with you he should not just declare what his intentions are about his priesthood, but should also appear to take steps towards making it happen for both of you. Thanks for your Blog. Stand by your decision, and the priest will respect you. My one started off so gradually I didn't even notice he was targeting me, while I was rearing my children single-handedly. I have fallen into the deepest depression I have never confronted in my life, especially because this is something I can't talk to anybody, I do not want to challenge his image or damage his priesthood in anyhow. Top Reasons Catholics are Leaving the Catholic Church, Slow Journey Away From Rome – Auricular Confession. I can't set foot into the one place in this world where I used to find peace. He is my addiction. I don’t want to spend another 2 years caring for someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Your sufferings, dedicate these to the well-being and salvation of souls, particularly those priests who put man-made laws above the will of God...M, I started a relationship with a priest in November of 2011, he gave me a card that said: "Thank you for the gift of your friendship and for adding a lot to my life" after that day we communicated a lot daily, we spend hours chatting for about 4 months, we hung for a coffee sometimes after mass and also a few times for a glass of wine, he often told me how beautiful I was and how fortune he was for been next to me, I frequently responded also with the same kindness and asked him if that bother him since he was a Priest, his answer was always no, that it actually makes him feels good, we often tell each other how much we missed each other, and a good day he told me we need to talk about us, the conversation finally arrived and we confronted our true, he told me he have strong feelings for me and it was getting very difficult and I confessed my feelings for him as well. I don't know where he's at with all this; no lines have been crossed, but I love him & I can't give him up. I am his escape but he is not mine, in spite of my love for him. But I do love him and I would not trade one moment of that. He has been given 2 months to live. The book also discusses the "raising" of a priest in the seminary, rectory life, the so-called "fraternity" of priests (which is clearly lacking), and general life as a parish priest. Some viewers were bewildered that the priest would choose celibacy over Fleabag. We secretly saw each other and spoke on the phone almost everyday for a month. And at the beginning of our friendship he used to show much excitement when we met or talked. He turned on me in the end when I called him to get out of his fantasy world. And then another punishment I was spotting and before even my visit to a doctor and ultrasound I knew. And yet he left me before I knew it because he could stay for days and not chat or weeks and not call me. Of course I won't back off from my faith. Priests who have found it difficult to remain under the celibacy vows have stepped aside gotten married and continued serving. He is wasting your time and you can imagine the scandal it will get you into and the consequent dent to your integrity! I myself understand that God tests us constantly and Satan tempts us to follow the desires of the flesh. I want my priest back. For him, i was in the church for the whole day as my house was near to the church. I am not catholic but I still thought I was going straight to hell.I confronted him and he said"yes I am a Priest". I have been trying to go out with other men but they don't compare to him. But thank you for your words. I was happy and scared ad the same time. If he chooses you then simply reject him because that relationship will be evil! I respect him so much, his first love will always be the church and godThanksSA. I want to move on (in my mid 30s, never married and no kids). Last Sunday I just burst in tears when our Priest was talking about Marriage. We have not only sinned, but we are sinners. I am so glad for this blog. Always when I feel I don´t know what to do next. There are many predatory men out there who will use you who have never set foot inside a Catholic Church. Sometimes healing has to be forced. I dont think he has the holy spirit guiding him, he is a very sociable man and I do think he would make an amazing husband and father (real one!). I love him. I wish I'd done that because I can tell you, loving a priest, if you truly love him, is something from which you never, ever recover.God bless. He used to call me his SPECIAL FRIEND and it made me think always what was being a SPECIAL FRIEND TO A PRIEST? I'm angry at God for bringing me this person when I can't have him anyway. I had spent 30 years with a man who was incapable of loving me or God. But I am still living a lie. He invited me to take my dinner and I said that I don't want to. Music, committees, etc. During that time, I said to myself that we are alright like this, loving him from afar because I can't take to see him in pain. when i've not seen him … Of course, the love of God is a relatively popular aspect of Christianity compared to, say, the fear of God. Merely saying no is not enough to sort out this mess. A good number of women are not only sexually and romantically involved with ‘celibate priests’ but are also raising families for them. I have stopped seeing him. A celibate priest is married to the Church - end of story - unless he decides to leave the priesthood. To make matters worse, I am married and in a very unsatisfying marriage; my husband is sick so I am unable to leave. However, I am left with a hole in my heart. We talked for hours about nothing and everything. No more pictures and slightly cheeky emails. I'm in the same situations like all of you.. I dealt the pain and learned to live with it. I always assumed his choice was the Church.Then I became pregnant. Let him know upfront that a romantic or sexual relationship just isn't going to happen - and then don't let it. I just wish he knew the torture I am living and frequently think if he feel even half of the pain I'm feeling? There are different ways to communicate with a married woman with a love life. And I know I’ll always have this pain in my heart. Forever. It's gotten easier, but in no way am I over it. It altered my "advice" or perspective slightly from what it may have been had I had more word choices available. I had been looking for someone to give me advice. I had posted that my relationship was over. I love him dearly and so I took him back in my life. Mine has been (and still is) hypocrite to me. He told me he had always loved me. There’s no love there! And I had my words with him, and sent him some contemptuous remarks about his conduct with me and about his real character. I was chatting with him after mass one evening after everyone else had left only for this other lady he kept denying that they did not have anything drove in to the church and walked to his apartment. I was already falling for him but an unexpected thing happened between us so i have to let him go . I can't 'talk' to my God, because I can't figure out how to separate Him from the Church. Nothing makes me happiear than knowinh he is happy and nothing makes me more miserable than feeling his pain or loneliness. Now he says that we can be friends, do everything we used to do together and If I have a problem with the sex part that we just won't have sex. I gave in because I realized that over the months we had been cultivating a friendship, we'd also learned to love each other. whats important to them is that their priest is alright..i went into deep depression, i wanted to end my life because i didnt have the heart the face the strength to face the wrath of people.i know i will never be okay. I read your write up and was overwhelmed by mixed feelings: Feeling hurt by, and ashamed of the actions of some of our priests on the one hand, and on the other hand asking myself why the whole blame should be heaped on the priests, as if all the women in relationship with priests were and are angels and saints, free from all possible culpability. I slept with someone else and told him. This priest is very traditional and devoted to the church; he is friends with our bishop and has had several special assignments as a priest. Following the banning and burning of his novel, "The Rainbow", D.H. Lawrence and his wife, Frieda, move to the United States, and then to Mexico. The most important thing in all this is to ascertain to what degree he is serious with you. They can be seductively manipulative, knowing how to pull us in. A priest sheds his habit, tunes in, turns on and drops out for a road trip that will change his life and bring him sorrow. Until one fateday in jkune when I went visiting him. Well, thank you for letting me share without revealing my identity. So, if he, let's say "divorce", then he's committing a mortal sin. Now, I still see him often and he acts like nothing has happened. | Anyway, it's a personality disorder and not quite the same thing as a young man who becomes a bit full of himself when he notes how people tend to defer to him [when they are not keeping him away from their children--a new twist] when he first becomes a priest. One of the hardest times of my life. I contact my priest far more than he does, he has showed signs that he really likes me. I write love letters to the Earth. I am in love with my Priest. I myself am married mother and am quite young, but I refuse to allow my feelings to control/dictate my life or my actions. The story of a priest who left the Catholic Church for love. Girls i just do t knowhow too get pass thisthe pain is too deep I am 52 years old WHat will i do ? That was the day when I understood that I lost the love of my life…..Any way here I am 13 years later, married with two beautiful kids, great husband, never stopped remembering that blue eyed boy that I will wish only the best of all and thought that I will never see againOur life crossed so unexpected, we had mutual friends on FB, we put a few likes on FB and one day he was on chat and I asked how was his charity going and when I saw replay back with smile face my heart pounded, we were talking for quite some time and when I noticed that my words a very caring and gentle towards him, I wrote to him that I must stop communicating with him, because it will be a disaster to my family which I love more than anything, I told him that I never forgot him but It is too late for us, was late 13 years ago, I said goodbye. I am non-religious. This is true of any suffering, actually. Leave that priest to work for God. It's bad enough that I lost the love of my life, it's even more painful that I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. Being together is less infatuation and more obligation. By all means they are not to blame; if you look at it critically, they were men before they became priests. Or, the advice can be spelled out completely as I do in this post which is based upon the poem above. Thank you for this website. I never imagined that I would be one of you ladies. There were vows exchanged. I've never felt it before. I was thinking since God got us so close together he will not part us away. How.. Hi there everyone. I'm currently in a relationship with a priest, but the difference with the other stories is that, from the beginning, he told me that he could never marry me in the future. At first, he seemed quite understanding. One evening I went to church and I accidently saw her car parked in his garage and he was denying it that it wasn't her car I had to go in to his apartment. This site is very important to me. God help us move on. I knew when it all started but he kept on denying it. I so relate to everything that has been posted. 0 0 0 0. He told me that he had a woman in our town before he left but he didn't love her. I know that he has slight issues with alcohol and maybe all of this is part of the reason I am attracted to him - because I see a side of him that is fragile and hurting. When I first became friends with my priest, we both held back the obvious connection we felt for each other.I became very involved in many aspects of the church. If, on the contrary, a woman dreams that a priest tries to get her affection, it means that in real life she will be reproached for excessive love for entertainment. Conversely, many priests that I’ve known to be involved with a woman, even if he remains in the priesthood at the time, will later leave the priesthood either to marry someone else or for other reasons. That is human nature - chasing after what is seemingly unattainable. What a blow that was for me. Often times, I find myself wishing that there was someone whom I can completely trust and/or who would not judge me to whom I can confide to. It just shattered and broke me. Iam married and she is not. I am so, so in love with him. )What the hell is the church thinking? i find myself in this same mess... been dating Fr x for 5 months now. I feel like a fool. I think that gave him a green light. I was miserable with him because of the secrets and shame but I was more miserable without him. The longest I personally have faced is four years over a separate trauma that occurred when I was a teenager. It's obsession. Another time he asked me toget something for him while we chatting. It hurts. I am still seeing my priest but nothing sexual since last Oct. Pregnancy test came negative, but I did tell him what is going on and sent him a pic of my stomach. Yeah, what was I thinking. I had been having sex with a priest for 7 months. I also feel so stupid for thinking he could love me. And I know I´ll allways have this pain in my heart. I was immediately drawn to his love for God, and for his parish. The Priest I fell in love with two years ago, I haven't chosen that man. How to leave the love of my life... How do you handle girls? Our attraction has been unadmitted, but too many incidents & undercurrents have manifested for me to think that it's all in my head. We are still friends but we no longer communicate as often as before because things have changed. The woman doesn’t need to forgive the priest in order to begin the healing process. Those of you who were duped by these shameless men who did not tell you that they were clergy are clearly without blame and are victims of abuse. And if the institution of Catholic Church is mistaken in all that celibacy staff I think it is a mature solution which might show a real quality of their love, more sacrificing than usual. Question - (25 April 2011) : 1 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2011): A female age 22-25, *UVER OF MY BF writes: I'm in crush with my parish priest.I like to be with him. But it cuts me each time deeper and deeper. I just not sure if she will keep me as her friend as I know she finds it hard and I can understand how it must be hard but I hope she understand that it's also hard for me. Out of fear? We fell in love, he was my very first and true love…we never had sex, because both of us are very religious ( to be clear he was study at the time in seminary and I was at the university, but at my orthodox tradition, priest can marry as long as that happens before he become a priest). It hurt to see him go and prayer for him was my only release. I feel like I've fallen into the deepest of wells and all around me is this smooth, circular, dark wall, with no way of getting back up and out, and it takes all of my strength to keep trying, and not just collapse onto the floor because I know if I do lie down and actually stop, the tears will start and I'm afraid they'll never end. There were subtle looks, loving gazes, hand holding, but we never allowed it to move onto anything else. Ok, here's another one. Years have passed and our communication lines had opened again but we never talked about what really happened. When I tried to break thing off he said no. I was thinking he would end the relationship with her but that only got them stronger. Or so I thought. I believe him being my twin flame. I am wise enough to know that friendship is what I crave and determined enough to keep a friendship as just that.... a beautiful friendship. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us (1.John 1:8). I'm in love with my priest? Do Priests and Bishops Have a Superiority Complex? When the lady saw me she froze in shock. Hi, Im from SA and Im going through the same and its weighing heavely on me. That said, in my heart of hearts he would not make a good partner for me as he has wondering eyes and that would not do for me! I only cry at night when no one can see me or hear me. Sometimes I think this will go on for the rest of our lives. I stopped to wish him well, and we talked for a bit. Shortly after he came back from his vacation in September he started seeing someone else in the same parish. I've been in a relationship with a priest for only 6 months. Later that delighted man played with me the same game. We have not been intimate since. Nothing ever happened, we were really close when he was here but mostly because I sought him. I've been in love with my pastor for over a year. You are gambling with your psychological, emotionally and spiritual health. You made the right decision to repent. I carry his guilt as my own. At one point I considered becoming an Oblate nun so that I might have the opportunity to care for him in the future. I am ending it because I have to love myself more. Suddenly, when I enphasized that this friendship costed me some feelings of guilt and difficulties in sustaining my self-esteem, he started treating me coldly and haughty, giving me "pastoral advice" as to how to deal "spiritually" with obstacles in friendship in general. It is all about of preparing the world to the coming of Antichrist. I cried for not being able to be with the one that I love. To ask the priest to decide between you and God is blasphemous. You could communicate through social media or by regular phone texts. Why is this? It was all there. I woke up eventually and still go through the pain.They hide behind their collars, shame on them. Your advice for women in love with a priest is amazing, just spot on. In every Mass that I had attended, I always say to God to please grant him to me and to please forgive me. I have so much anger inside but most of all, I am completely devastated that this has happened. I want to forget everything and start afresh. It’s a common trope in movies and television—being in love with your best friend. I pray for him daily, I put flowers on his grave, and I wear his photo in a locket he gave me years ago.If anyone finds themselves in love with a priest, I think the best thing to do is to pray for his vocation and get out of the relationship as fast as you can. I fled to Europe and stayed there for years. My heart changed, and while I can honestly say I still love my husband, I’m not sure I’m still “in love” with him. Why should I go to another Church if he is the one who continuously stares? I can tell you that so many priests have been battling with series of sexual advances from some women. Okay, I’m … But it was a doomed love from the very start.It isn't the fault of the promise of celibacy a priest makes to his bishop and his bishops successors. I've been broken up with my priest for over a year. After all said and done, things changed because we were no longer chatting except for when he needed me to do something for him. My point is the Priesthood is a very special calling and for a great calling then sacrifice is needed, My only worry is that I don't want to lose my friendship with this girl as to me she is very special and will always have a close place in my heart for her. As a matter of fact, he may be telling the same story to a dozen other women out there. I’ve never spoken to my family about this situation because I don’t want to ruin the relationship my family has with him. I love him and I was happy and satisfied just having him as a friend only, even when I cry daily unlimited amount of time, till the point that sometimes I need to take a pause in my work because I can't talk with a knot in my throat. The Catholic Church is a big part of my life, so I did not leave the Church. This means that some priests are living double lives. HELP ! On dec 31st 2013 I finally broke up with him told him,he has been using me, deleted him off on all chatting platforms. I would have never forced him to leave the Church and the priesthood, but he felt he had to in order to do the "honorable thing" and he just couldn't bring himself to leave.Neither one of us ever had any peace after the say our relationship ended. I can't believe that MY God would prohibit love. Till then our communication lines went open again. I told myself my feelings could not be sinful, yet I still suffered great pain. I want to go on with my life and have a normal realationship with a normal man but I just can't.Am I going to be in this confused state for the rest of my life?Something tah keeps coming to mind are Marie's words RUN, LEAVE. But he wasn't my "love" and that eventually took its toll on the marriage. Without him knowing that i have loved him too. I want him close too - why can't I let him be? When I asked him why he never told me he just said not to worry, that it is ok and we could go on just as we were, no problem. It only ladted for 3months however there was no sex beteen us or even a kiss there was words spoken deep into my very soul and how much he loved mr . We are now finished. I knew he would always be a priest, and so did he, and perhaps that was the reason why we didn't allow it to go further. He started no answering my emails and confirming every time I questioned him at church if something was wrong? A priest may very well love a woman. I appreciate that. This is by no means a justification of the scandalous lifestyle of any priest that enters into an intimate/sexual relationship with a lady whether or not he discloses his identity as a priest. Its form and being have changed. We would talk over the phone and text just to keep in touch each week . I miss him so, so so very much. I have since repented and asked God for the forgiveness. I fell in love with my parish priest and kept my feelings hidden for a long time (close to 2 years), prayed to God to please take them from me as I knew it was pointless and fruitless, but the heart won out over the head time and time again. What’s more. FLEABAG: I’m a pretty normal person. To you the author of this poetic article: "Advice for Women in Love with a Priest", I encourage you to come up with an article on a topic such as "Advice for Priests in Love with a Woman". i don't know what to do. Our love for each other has not changed . I would tore myself to pieces and cover him with them, if that would mean he wouldn't feel so alone anymore.I'm sorry, I must sound like a crazy person, it's not like that at all. And yes I meet this girl who I fell in love with, I was not looking for anything, but we just clicked very well and we fell for each other. I believe God brought my priest into our lives. I spent more time with him than other parishioners because I made his meals, did his laundry, and cleaned his room. Yet Fleabag goes there, too. But I also know what welled up in me when I saw him just 4 years ago. I just said to myself that after I finished my studies and have a stable work, I will fight for him. I told him at my apartment, and he told me not to worry, that things were going to be okay. For all I know he has someone else, but by all accounts he's aboveboard & not living a double life. Song by Swiss musician Bo Katzman. We have never done anything that is going over the line like sex or anything like this as we both believe this should be in marriage. I believe being told by God that this is my man. What about fearing God instead of fearing the Institutions of the Catholic Church, because God alone is the Judge, and not any celibacy rules! But I do long to know complete peace about it, to trust he is completely safe in the hands of the God we both serve, to forgive myself and him, to move completely forward with that time as just a precious memory and fullness of life and happiness ahead. Instead of feeling superior, the priest begins to envy the lay people what he sees as their potential to have happier and more fulfilling lives. Right? Thank God he was transfered I won't have been able to see him and the other lady together when I know he chose her over me. We made love, though I never asked him to choose between me and the Church. This needs to be addressed by scrutinizing the behavior of the priests who seek to attract the adoration of as many people as possible, regardless of gender, age or level of attractiveness.I hope that your site will open this dialogue and we can finally place the responsibility where it belongs, namely on both parties at the very least. I believe we can always be friends no matter where he is, Hi All.Yes, I am currently in love with a priest who has been my best friend for over 13 years. So many of them have also been struggling to maturely handle the issue of women who want to turn a relationship that initially started as purely platonic to amorous relationship. And I have no intention of terminating my relationship with him. But it is impossible to expect from me that I would be thinking rationally only a week after it happened, right? Is there any way to start a discussion/help board somewhere? If you have not started a relationship with your priest, DON'T! I’m in love with my priest and monk for 10 years now. He was panic-stricken, and he took it out on me. Wedding can be done between 2 people and God - according to Catholic Church it is a sacrament which is between the two. Since they see him as special, he comes to believe it but sooner or later reality sets in. So I know there is hope for women to move on with their lives despite having loved a priest. It was interesting to write this within the confines of the words that were in the little box. For them, I have decided enough is enough. I hope we can keep each other sane for, as one person mentioned earlier, because this relationship was a secret, we have to grieve in secret. I know that before he became a priest he was in a long relationship with a woman and that they both decided to join religious orders - thus ending their relationship. I tried to speak with him many times, but he never had the time to do it, apparently he claim to be always busy, I feel like he turned against me and did not help me when I most needed from him. I confronted him and he said it was true but we could go on being lovers and that he loved me. Can you please give me some advice on what to do? But reading this, and knowing, that on some level I'm not alone, is helpful in a way. That's hard for me cause when I see him I just want to kiss and hold him. I'm aware that I should end if now, but I can't... How to do it? Powered by. He tells me am I source of joy to him. The woman has just suffered intense emotional and spiritual damage—to add the pressure of forgiveness on top of that might be too much to bear, resulting in even more unnecessary guilt.